I’m so excited that another awesome woman from my group is guest posting today in honor of National Infertility Week. It takes a lot to stand up and say how you feel, especially about certain subjects and infertility is a major heartache to have to endure and can be tough to share.
“What is your story with infertility?” This is hard for me, you see, my husband and I are battling what is called “Secondary Infertility”. We have a beautiful 6 year old daughter that was conceived naturally. When she was two years old we decided to have another. Nothing. Although we have a child, the emptiness inside isn’t filled. I am blessed to have one yes, but I want more. I have always wanted a large family. From the moment I was little I told myself that I would have a house full of children someday. Now, four years later my house still feels empty. I have a daughter that would love to be a big sister and she voices this every day. So, not only am I filled with the thought of “what’s wrong with me” I have her little voice asking me pretty please can she have a baby brother for Christmas.
None of us “infertile” men and women asked for this. None of us could have imagined this happening to us and I was one of them. When you’ve seen doctor after doctor, and they are running test after test and you are giving blood and taking shots and swallowing pills you become a different person, you hit this all time low. I have never felt so dark, so alone, and so helpless. I have a wonderful husband who is my rock, but even he can’t help me feel better sometimes. Women going through this are constantly told “you aren’t the only one” well, I can tell you that sometimes, it sure as hell feels like it.
Today I can honestly say that ever since I met the most amazing women at the RESOLVE support group; I know now, that I am not alone and neither are they. We are a family. We are hormonal, emotional women yes, but we are also some of the strongest women I have ever met. We all bravely put on a smile and congratulate our friends when they make the announcement that we have all practiced in our heads. We are tough women that try and do everything and anything in our power to “fix” our problem including dieting, changing sexual positions, changing sleeping positions, changing clothing type, seeking different doctors, seeking holistic doctors, drinking “fertile” teas and reporting back to all of us how nasty it tasted, praying, praying harder, having friends pray, sign up for fertility acupuncture, and the list can go on and on. We are women. We are doctors, teachers, wives, sisters, daughters, friends, and infertile. This is not going to define us. I am trying to make infertility more known for others and that we will, we WILL overcome this. As a family, as one unit.
Here’s a quick way to learn more:
- http://www.resolve.org/infertility101 (Basic understanding of the disease of infertility.)
- http://www.resolve.org/national-infertility-awareness-week/about.html (About NIAW)